shaking but smiling

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Coming at you live from a weeping session

I just had while curled up in my blankets:

Hey, humans. You know, I just realized that even when life is very good, stress and fear and a million other emotions can take over. But I wanted to encourage you that even when you feel like a walking wreck, a super hot mess, a child so stained and guilty, or the girl who never quite measures up: Jesus still holds you. We're all a mess, yes, but it's beautiful.

And P.S., if you're in Christ, you're a victor. There is nothing that can separate you from Christ and the life that He has given you, no matter how hard things get. There is light!

"He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge; His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart."

~ Psalm 91:4

So keep on keeping on. It's tough, but you're not alone. We're all fighting alongside you, crying and screaming as it may be.

To quote the wonderful Hannah quoting someone else (a quote within a quote: #quoteception), "God takes our messes and turns them into messages to encourage others."

Yes, in the end, it will all be okay. Come, Lord Jesus!

+ Thanks for all your sweet birthday wishes! Y'all are the best.
+ Also, I'm still reading Harry Potter, and I must say, I'm shocked at just how mean Malfoy is! #egad

23

Before we start, I would sincerely like to apologize for the horribly grainy (and cheesy) photograph of my mom and I; my camera has sadly broken down (#RIP) and all I have left to take pictures is my phone. THE WOE

Moving on.

I'm super excited today, because this grand old Monday is my annual day of birth. I still think it's kind of ironic that I was born on Labor Day, haha. But it's always nice to have an extra day off of school to relax, spend time with my family, and slowly age like a fine wine.

"All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be." 

~ Psalm 139:16

23 is kind of an exciting birthday for me, because it is one of my favorite numbers. (It was also the number on my jersey when I ran track senior year.) 22 was great, but I'm hoping that 23 is even better. I want to write more, run more, spend time with God more. Play music, go on adventures. BRING IT ON

+ Interestingly enough, it is also my music blog's first birthday. I'm celebrating by ordering the Sing Street soundtrack on vinyl. I mean, I didn't want to, but these are just the kinds of sacrifices one must make for the sake of music blogging. ;) Have a great Labor Day!

got so much to prove; God, don't let me lose my mind

Do you ever just feel like...

I don't know, friends. It's just that all that life is seems to catch up with me sometimes, in both a beautiful and painful way. I stress, I smile. I breathe, I overthink. All in the course of a day, an hour. A minute?! 

"So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be." 

~ Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

What are the perks of being a wallflower, by the way? Do we ever find out? Are there any? Seriously, I'd love to know.

I digress.

Right now, I'm learning very much how joy is not circumstantial. External, earthly things can never afford me confidence or true security, because those things are ever-shifting. Those things can be taken from me. But as I approach my 23rd year, I want to cling to Christ. 

"As we have heard, so we have seen in the city of the Lord Almighty, in the city of our God: God makes her secure forever." 

~ Psalm 48:8

+ Psst, Life Update: I have just finished reading the first Harry Potter novel for school (yes, I actually am taking a Harry Potter class, no lie) and let me just say, I am slowly becoming OBSESSED with the series. Seriously, the books are beyond vivid.

+ Also, I'm looking forward to reading all of y'all's glorious blogs very, very soon! I feel like I haven't gotten to sit down and just read them all in a while, and I miss that!