Wednesday, April 29, 2020

Goodbye, Groundhog Day

This is the smol writing cabin I sometimes write about in posts. Spent a couple of days there quarantining and trying to put words on the page with my novel.

 There is no better way to describe the month of April than "Groundhog Day." Due to quarantine, it has felt largely like I've been living the same day over and over again. When I look back on April 2020 years from now, it is likely I will remember a lot of time spent indoors, searching for jobs, and novel writing (read also: crying, oops). 

Needless to say, April was not my favorite, though this month has found me getting closer to the Lord and taking steps of faith, for which I am so, so grateful.

I attempted a Domestic Pursuit and made boxed blueberry muffins the other week (it's a start). They were good! It's weird how something as simple as baking (and licking the batter bowl) can put me in good spirits.

In a way, April was ripping off the Band-Aid of my comfort zone. It was me pouring my heart out to God, securing a new job after a season of uncertainty, getting close to completing the novel I've been trying to write for years, and soon, Lord willing, moving to an apartment. It's all a fresh start. I've been listening to a lot of records again, which I somehow got out of the habit of, and one of the lyrics that's piercing me is from the band Whitney's second album:

"Tell me everything is just beginning,
I don't feel alive but I've been living.
Back when we were young, we would ride.
Though the changes come, you'll get by.
Anything could happen."

That's oddly how I feel now, entering May: Anything could happen. Maybe before that would have paralyzed me. I'll probably still have bad days, but I feel good things ahead for May. Starting a new job and moving out during Super Dark Pandemic Times might sound crazy, but this whole journey has been about faith and trusting God for me. Staying safe and smart, of course, but not fearful. I'm trying not to be afraid anymore, which is something that used to really take root in my life.

I'll still have my moments. I'll still miss people. I'll still look back on the past with rose-colored glasses, as I always have, but now it's time to go. It's time for a NEW THING.

Ok, but a NEW THING doesn't mean I'll stop listening to old favorites (I see you, Avril).

I hope all of you are doing well, taking heart!
That this time has given you a chance to reassess what is most important to you. For me, I realized that I want a slower, simpler pace of life. I want to trust the Lord more, and to listen to more music, to write daily, to take steps of faith, and to drink only decaf coffee. To read more books. What have you learned during quarantine? Let me know in the comments!

"I myself will tend my sheep and have them lie down, declares the Sovereign Lord." - Ezekiel 34:15

Current Favorites: This song (*tears up*) | Also this one (my mood) | Reading outdoors

Entering a new season,