Thursday, November 29, 2018

The Definitive Guide to Not Having It All Together



Lately, I've been trying to Keep Up.

Everything online seems to scream at me that I need the clothes, the #aesthetic, the fitness journey, the picture-perfect blog. Meanwhile your girl just wants to wear her favorite thrift-store cardigan and continue her family Christmas movie marathon (We've watched Home Alone and Christmas with the Kranks, if you're curious. Elf is up next).

It can be so easy to fall into thoughts of comparison and appearance-obsession, because that's what the Internet seems to invite.

But all I want is to use it to create something great and honest, even if that means bowing out of the social media and numbers game. I don't know why I even think about those things. My end goal is not to have an explosive social media following. I just want to share my thoughts and have a genuine connection with people, even if it's only a few. To me, that means more. 

But yo, sometimes it's really tough.

This morning in my car, my hands raw from the cold as I scrolled through my phone's cracked screen, I thought randomly of 2nd Corinthians 12:9. "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness." That really made me feel at peace. Because lately I haven't been wanting to be weak, I've been trying to be strong. I've been pretty anxious. I totally forgot that the Lord wants me to be weak, because then He can be strong through me. I also thought about that verse James 4:6: "But He gives us more grace."

So it's completely fine to not have it all together.

Which is good, because I definitely don't. A little while ago I was thinking about giving up with this whole blogging thing; it was just getting me down. But when I have moments of stillness like this it re-centers me. I remember how much I enjoy connecting with a person over shared words and reading someone else's thoughts. I've loved having honest conversations with some of you over things on my The 25 Project blog, and it means a lot that even one person would care to read my words. That makes me smile.

What about you?

Do you ever feel like you have to have it all together or chase perfection? How do you combat the social media/blogging numbers game? PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR TIPS. And for fun, what is your favorite Christmas movie and/or treat? I'm in prime Christmas mode over here, my dudes. 🎅

19 comments:

  1. I 100 percent get where you are coming from! It's so difficult to put the raw version of yourself out there sometimes. But it is nice to have a few friends that will understand where you are coming from. FEW > MORE. My tips on that? Oh haha I am awful at it. I lose sight of it easily so I am grateful for this post. Favorite Christmas treat? Ginger snaps. You?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, it can be hard to just be 100% honest online, but at the same time, that's all I want to do. Especially since the internet can be such a disingenuous place. GAH I love the few > more mindset. I was literally just talking about my mom with this today. Quality > quantity. Ooh ginger snaps sound lovely! Fave treat right now is the Gingerbread Frapp from Starbucks. :)

      Delete
    2. *talking to my mom about this today LOL

      Delete
  2. Mmm this is so good!!!!! I NEVER have it altogether -- I'm probably the most not-put-together person you could ever meet.
    And I'm learning to be okay with that. <3 <3 <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SAME! It's like...I can't put all my energy into always thinking about other people's perceptions. Because I'll never be perfect. But that's kind of beautiful, and very freeing. Thank you so much for commenting!!

      Delete
  3. *resists writing out a book-length comment in response*

    The subject of grace is one that burns on my heart, but I have a hard time writing a short, coherent response because grace leads to so much: vulnerability, dependance, confidence, identity, etc. Maybe one day I'll be able to be succinct, and then I can come back and leave a relevant comment. XD

    I loved this post. <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are the bomb! I love this comment. You're right - grace leads to so many different thoughts and a made-over way of living (re: identity). I need to get better at accepting daily grace, I think. Because sometimes I try to be strong when I really should just relax and let the Lord work.

      Thank you for commenting!! <3

      Delete
  4. first of all, that picture of you at the beginning is absolutely stunning. I love it.

    second, I totally relate. Ive wanted to give up on blogging a million times lately. Ive almost deleted all my social media several times over the last month. it can all just get to be too much. and you know its all stupid and artificial, so why keep up?

    I love your honesty. just know that you're not alone in those thoughts and pressures. I hope it makes you feel even just a bit better to know that I love reading your blogs and I smile whenever I see you comment on my stuff as well. the blog world wouldnt be the same without you in it

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are so sweet! Thank you. :) That was taken on a very chilly, lovely day.

      No no no don't give up! I love reading your blog. I totally feel you with the social media, though, because sometimes it does feel very artificial. But that it can also be artistic and a great way to connect with people. Double-edged sword for sure!

      You are making my life with this comment, Faith! Thank you so much for all of your kind words. <3 It encourages me more than you know!

      Delete
  5. I totally don't have it together either. I feel that pressure to have it more sorted out than I do, so yep - you're not alone.

    I'm not a pro with dealing with the numbers game by any means but it helps to take breaks to reset my mind, and remember that it's a ministry - it's about others and God, not about me. Keep striving for those things that matter to you, girl! You do make a difference, and genuine connection trumps numbers or fame any day. Also, thrift-store cardigans are great. :) xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for this! It's like...sometimes I can keep it together, but other times, I #JustCan't. And it's good to know I'm not the only one.

      GAH Jessica I love your thoughts on this! It is totally a ministry, and that is how I try to approach my blogging on the best of days. I think your advice about taking breaks DOES help a lot. I always feel more inspired and ready to blog, share, etc. once I am recharged after a break. :)

      Thank you so much for commenting! Loved your perspective. <3

      Delete
  6. You’re not alone. I constantly strive for perfection. I try to keep everything together but I’ve felt really not together lately. I’ve lost one my favorite socks and a pair of favorite earrings and my rating has gone down at work because of some difficult customers and plus finances are tight cause holidays. But I’m trying to give myself some breathing room to be human even though that’s difficult for me. XD And concerning blogs and social media I’ve just come to the revelation to just be authentically me. When you’re honest and don’t put on masks you attract good honest company.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. GAH I hate when socks go missing! This literally just happened to me with one of my favorite pairs of socks. I have one but not the other lol. I totally understand, just taking a deep breath and trying to distance yourself from those perfectionist thoughts can be tough. That's actually a really good point! Being genuine is always something that I strive for. Especially because the Internet can make things feel so false and polished. Thank you so much for commenting and sharing your thoughts, Victoria! :) It means a lot.

      Delete
  7. Yes and amen 100x. Inadequacy is something the internet pushes in my face often. Something I tell myself is, "social media is only full of someone's best moments. They are not posting about sinks overflowing onto floors, or messy kitchens in the morning. Don't assume that social media photos always represent real life."

    I think if we all had close connection with people online, it would go a long way to improving the way we view social media. I know from experience, having friends online (who I also follow) is 100x better than being on the outside and scrolling through people's highlight reels, without a chance to know them outside of it. Granted, I do follow people I never know at all but I try to always remember that I'm seeing them from a distance. It helps.

    Sorry for the blog-post length comment. You and I have a lot in common here. : )

    cheers.
    k.
    p.s. I LOVE that photo of you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are so wise, Keira! You're right, everyone is just posting the highlight reel. And often that can take away from even being in that glorious moment; I know, I've been there. That's a really good reminder that what we see with social media is not always what is true behind the scenes.

      That's a really good perspective. We can't truly know someone just from their feed, and it's way better to know someone from experience anyway, like you said. Great advice! And reminders that I honestly need when I start to compare myself.

      Don't apologize, I * love * long comments! :) This comment made me smile so much! Thanks for sharing your thoughts. And GAH thank you for the compliment about the photo. Best wishes in December! <3

      Delete
  8. wow I didn't realize other people felt like this too...? THANK YOU

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. YES I definitely struggle with this GAH. Thank you so much for commenting, Rosie! :) <3 It means a lot.

      Delete

Go with grace.