Thursday, December 6, 2018

To the Friends Who Stayed

I wish I could tell you what it felt like to open the door and see Sophie standing there, bearing gifts of cream cheese frosted cupcakes, mocha hot cocoa, and flowers.

I wish I could explain just how strange life has been lately, sometimes a good strange, sometimes a bad. How this whole 2018 has been a study in letting go, starting again, and keeping on keeping on. 

What I've learned is simple: Some people leave, while others stay.

I've written a little about this on my The 25 Project blog, but there's more to say. As we enter December and start to anticipate the new year ahead, I also want to look back. This year, more than any other, I have had to learn that you can't keep everyone. I don't know if that makes sense? What I mean is, you can't keep everything the same as it is when you're younger. Friends grow up, grow older, grow apart.

The hard part of it is, you don't always know who is going to go,
and who is going to stay.

Maybe I'm just one of those whimsical, wistful souls who wishes everything could stay the way it was in childhood and everyone would always want to be friends with each other and let's just all hold hands and get along, THE END. But this is life, and so that's not the case. I get that now; I've accepted it. You can't have positive life change and new seasons without leaving the old seasons behind.

All this to say, it did a heart good to see my friend Sophie standing outside my door yesterday with her sweet soul and surprise treats.
It made me want to be a better friend.

It helps to remember that for every person that leaves, there will be amazing people who hang tight. There will still be people you can call on the phone laughing that tell you they love you even if you haven't talked in a while. There will still be people who want to go to emo concerts with you, or drive hours to see you even though it's been years since you hung out last. 

There will still be people who bring you cupcakes and a kind word.

What about you?

Have you experienced friendship changes as the years go by? How do you stay connected to your close friends? And what three things would you want someone to bring to your door?


  1. WOW. This is so good!
    I know -- I wish friends would stay the same. I still give random hugs, am a friend to everyone I meet (even the dudes) and I'm just like, "I wanna hold your hand and let you know it's going to be okay." But we live in a twisted world where that can't exist, where people leave, where innocence is a thing of the past for post people over the age of 20.
    Anyway...thank you for this! I feel very nostalgic right now.

    1. You are so sweet! Thank you! :) I totally get that. It's hard to watch people struggling and not want to comfort them, especially in the 20s, because everyone's just figuring things out as they go. GAH a lot of times I wish life was so much simpler than it is, but Thank you so much for commenting, it means a lot to me, Kara! :) <3

  2. oof. this was kinda what I needed to read right now. Learning how to move from the loneliness into acceptance.

    Also Sophie sounds amazing!!!

    1. I feel ya! It is definitely a process. The great thing that I've noticed, though, is that not everyone leaves. There are still people who will stay around, sometimes it just takes extra effort in the 20s to hold onto those people. Both people really have to keep the line of communication open to keep the friendship alive, but it's worth it.

      Sophie is the best. Such a sweet, creative, tender heart. She has a blog here if you want to check it out:

  3. Ah, wow. This is so good and basically what I needed to be reminded of right now, so thanks so much for sharing! It's hard when friends move on, but forever friends are real treasures, I've found. xx

    1. Aw, I'm so glad this was a good reminder for you, Emily! It's so true. Forever friends are worth their weight in gold. <3 Thank you so much for commenting!

  4. "...this whole 2018 has been a study in letting go, starting again, and keeping on keeping on"?
    OH WOW>
    holy heckums that HIT ME. I feel that with all my heart.
    I mean, every year is kind of like that for me but idk, ESPECIALLY this year.
    here's to it.
    oh, and here's too forever friends, too. I'm learning that as well, recently in my life...a lot.

    1. I'm glad you can relate! I guess life is like that, a series of falling down and getting back up and trying again. But 2018 was just like new starts and trial and error all over the place. Thank you so much for commenting! :) And you also get major props for the phrase "Holy heckums!" I love that!! :)

  5. So much truth here. I’ve had to let a lot of relationships go but then a lot of them have evolved. It’s not the same relationship I had but it’s become something different and sometimes something better.

    1. I feel the same way! Sometimes you have to let go of friendships, but then there are ones that grow and change with time, which is such a blessing. I can relate to this 100%. Thank you so much for commenting Victoria! :)


Go with grace.